Giraj's Blogs

Foreign Hand, Vanishing Spring & Talking to Anti-nationalists

We have not had a more ridiculous situation in Delhi in the recent past than the one we have now. On one hand the Centre suspects a foreign hand behind the farmers’ agitation yet it goes and holds eleven rounds of talks with the same farmers. If the farmers are anti-national then isn’t this act of talking to them sedition? Wait, there is more. The government has fortified Delhi – making it appear as a war-zone with Jersey barriers, metal frame barricades and barbed wires at almost all major cross-roads and city entry points.

Since Delhi Police has been extremely pre-occupied going after 21 year-old activists – such vantage points had to be supplemented by paramilitary personnel. Irony is that one has never felt so insecure. There are so many armed personnel around that Dilliwalahs keep looking over their shoulder just in case they spot a Xi Jinping and his agents. For all one knows they may have sneaked in from Galwan valley, all the way here, to sample Delhi’s gol-gappas. At least that would justify the crazy level of security arrangements in and around Delhi. Imagine Xi wiping his tears because of the ‘teekha paani’ (spicy filling) in his gol-gappas!  At least then someone with a 56-inches claim can thump his chest and scream, ‘Look we finally made Xi weep’!

The outrage and angst against the arrest of Disha Ravi among the young Dilliwalahs was massive and spontaneous. Even our man AK re-discovered a middle-class values filled heart beating in his chest. He called Disha’s arrest as an unprecedented attack on democracy.  That the judgment allowing her bail was hailed as masterpiece reflects our expectations from our institutions to be as fragile as a crisp gol-gappa. Whatever be it, Disha is out of Tihar leaving Delhi Police and its masters red-faced. This blogger’s roadside car mechanic can now go back to calling a toolkit a ‘toolkit’ and not ‘ustaadjee ka pitara’ (mentor’s bag) without the fear of being hounded by cops.

Well, we can’t be critical of our government all the time when they blame stuff on foreign powers. It is not that they are wrong every time. Take the disappearance of spring from Delhi this time. This is primarily due to the cyclonic disturbances over the Mediterranean. This swallowed our spring (and it wasn’t the agitating farmers, guys!). The blooming of flowers, however, kept its date with the city. The riot of colour that one sees at the roundabouts and avenues of Lutyens Delhi looks so wonderful. For once you could ignore those ugly yellow-coloured crap covering tin-sheets around the India Gate hexagon. At least Mother Nature is there to soothe the nerves of Dilliwalahs – at least temporarily. Till we learn to live with the proposed molestation of Delhi’s heritage buildings under the guise of that ill-conceived ‘Central Vista’ project.

StateOfDelhi Suggests: Gol-gappas can be had at any nook and cranny of Delhi. Every colony market has one or two hawkers who serve mouth watering gol-gappas. And now-a-days most gol-gappa chefs use mineral water (elitism is here, period) and wear plastic gloves to serve you. One joint that stands out is Lala Babu Chaat Bhandar at 77, Chandni Chowk opposite McDonalds. Disclaimers: You will have to take your mask off to try this Delhi delicacy and the spicy water. This endeavour may bring out tears and that will nothing to do with the ridiculous situation in Delhi. And you won’t be able to blame the government or its approach to Greta Thunberg.


  1. This made me laugh out loud. One of your funniest posts, I think.

  2. Appreciate the satirical slant and bringing Gol grappas in the fold. The farmers agitation is frequently shown here on BBC an PBS news. A friend sent pictures of the riot of colors currently in Delhi. And the whole world is suffering the effects of Climate change.

  3. This “foreign hand’ is a “bhoot” which is used to scare us since the times of Indira Gandhi. Government spokespersons need to be more imaginative. It is getting boring.

  4. This piece is very funny -such a humourous mingling of disparate images- golgappas, farmer, Xi, flowers,
    …very funny .

    1. Glad you liked it Maam. Thank you!

  5. You have to be a ‘sage’ to look at this with your sense of humor! You are proving to be one, Giraj – risen above all the hullabaloo. Feeling full thinking of all the food listed for my Delhi visit!

    1. Come soon and give me a shout, Ravi!

  6. Punched with homor you hit out with arrows of truth and uncovered the ground reality. You are a great satirist. Keep it up?

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