Of Anna, Nationality Issues & Beyond
While the city, along with the country, is trying to guess whether that goddamned curve is flattening or not, our politicians are busy keeping us in good humour – quite literally. Thankfully that counts for ‘contribution to society’ or else their achievement slate would be clean (Swaach Bharat moment, indeed).
The PM came on MannKiBaat (no, he still hasn’t lost his appetite for this, not as yet. And yours or mine doesn’t matter. It never did!) and hailed the role of dogs in leading security operations in the country. That was all fine but then he went further asking us, the citizens, to bring home dogs of only Indian breeds. That got this blogger wondering if dogs too have a nationality. And if they do then will they be covered under CAA or the NRC? And how will we ask the poor dog of its nationality? This, one is sure, is going to be a concern for all those who have a Dachshund, Labrador, Bulldog, Pug, Boxer etc at home (not to mention German Shepherd – whose nationality the Babus at the Registry would get straight away!). God! Now the youth of the country will have to assemble again at maidans etc and face water canons from sympathizing cops (if there’s such a breed). In Delhi we might just have Shaheen Bagh Part II. And those riots…hell, no! That dog lovers replace Pedigree with Patanjali (they should soon be out with dog-food) could finally be the issue that may get Arnab Goswami let a deceased actor’s soul find peace.
Talking of Delhi riots, a man suddenly sprang up from his siesta and thought of waking up one Anna Hazare – long forgotten by Dilliwalahs (Memory Trigger: He was the ‘occupier’ of Ramlila Maidan in 2011). This man is none other than the BJP Head of Delhi unit and he has accused the AAP government in Delhi of social, political & economic corruption, and, more pertinently, of ‘planning’ the Delhi riots in February this year. Anna, who was asked to join in protests against AK, sent back a scathing reply and now the Shahs of BJP do not know how to respond. They can’t discredit Anna (SambitPatraism may not work here) – having declared Anna meritorious, nor can they swallow what Anna said in response. Reminds this blogger of that line from Queen‘s anthem (We Will Rock You): You got mud on your face, big disgrace; Somebody better put you back into your place. One Manoj Tiwari, it is unreliably learnt, was found singing this song with elan, albeit in Bhojpuri!
We are talking humour, right? How can our man AK be left out for he is a constant provider of such fodder – at least to this blogger. Ever since he’s got re-elected his foot-in-the-mouth disease has resurfaced. This time he finds mention for choosing to offer Vamana Jayanthi greetings on the occasion of Onam while using an image of Vamana (believed to be an incarnation of Lord Vishnu) pressing down Mahabali into the netherworld. Onam, as we all know, is all about celebrating the mythological annual return of Mahabali to his erstwhile kingdom. So is AK adding his little weight behind the Sangh Parivar‘s line (should we be surprised?) to impose a Brahminical version of history or has his Wikipedia page got corrupted?
StateOfDelhi Suggests: If you are tired of staying indoors and miss your Gym workouts – get out cycling. It seems Dilliwalahs are taking to cycling like never before so much so that some cycle shops have a waiting period for deliveries. Delhi has had good weather last fortnight and now with autumn round the corner – it’s going to be nice to pedal up. You may like to look up some of the cycle groups – Delhi Elite Cyclists & Runners, Delhi Cycling Club, V4A Cycling & Running Club, Pedalyatri (in Gurgaon), Noida Cycling Club (Noida) before stepping out. Be safe and remember that there are some other Dilliwalahs on the road and they are pressing the pedal too!
Hahaha! This is amazing! German shephards and Daschunds are easy to figure out. True nationalism will be tested with Tibetan(Chinese?) Mastiffs if they’re still called that.
Brilliantly!!
Luv the CAA for dogs. Speechless creatures being targeted. Great read as always. Waiting for the next one ?
Sarcasm at its best.
Nice point Giraj, on nationality of dogs. Did you stop short of discussing their religion too? May not be entirely connected but the thought somehow suddenly transported me to a short story, ‘The Riot’ by the prolific Khushwant Singh, which I had read scores of years ago…..
Somewhere in Punjab, immediately after India gained independence, a cacaphonous episode involving Rani the bitch and her jealous lover Moti the dog forms the basis of a full blown communal riot that consumes society, threatens communal harmony and eventually scars a nation.That Rani is cared for by shopkeeper Ram and that Moti is a pet of Ramzan, a green grocer in the same mohalla, not only makes the story interesting with its remarkable contrasts but renders it chillingly relevant even today.
I see metaphor in the point on CAA wrt a dog’s breed/pedigree/nationality which you brought about in this blog. Well written.
Good sarcasm as always, Giraj!
This ‘Kutta-prem’ in India is some thing new, I noticed during my recent visit; now it has escalated to the level of getting political encashment.
Do we need more evidence that the country has gone to the dogs? Patanjali may start a dog yoga. Uncovering new frontiers for growth.
During the second world war the Brits renamed the German Shepherds living in the UK as Alsatians. Wonder what will the Indian government name them …….. “Bharatiya Charvaahaa” ?
Choicest use of Brilliantly Sarcastic Words ???
Totally agree with all you have mentioned.. really .. The Country is actually going to Right Wing Dogs ??
Another great write up Giraj. Yet another wonderfully written spiced up sorrowful mood of an awesome City, that gave us so much and now being mauled by the politics of ‘ Tu jaanta nahin mein kaun hun ! ‘.
Bottom line …’Hum na rahenga tum na rahoge, rahe jayengi nishanian’. Partner enjoyed your blog with an open mind and a heart that grew heavy until somebody shouted out ‘we shall overcome someday.’
Good one…! But seriously, I wish they would let the sleeping dogs lie. Kutton ko toh chhod do yaar. The powers that be have so much to do in these difficult times without having to worry about the ‘nationality’ of our pets.
Lol. As usual, you hit at the right spot. The most interesting observation of yours was on cycling. I also saw it being an enthusiastic adventurist myself on such fronts. But my real concern is that the wave should not die down as we lift the lockdowns further. It’s an important development for the city motorists who looked at the fellow city-cyclists and pedestrians as keera-makoras. I sincerely wish that more and more people adopt to the idea of going to the office itself by cycle, and decongest the roads. It’s an opportune time for the AK to capitalise on the current scenario by providing the infrastructure needed to encourage the safe peddling. Thanks Giraj for bringing humour in such an intelligent manner.